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Capuchin Formation

A Class for Postulants

The Invitation

If its true:
that all we really need to know
is written on our hearts when we are born;
that the desire for happiness
can find the way to eternal life;
that when we share another’s pain
we are taught compassion;
that when we love each other
we love God;
that God hides in every relationship
as he does in bread and wine;
If all this is true:
then please be sure,
to invite me to your table!

John Cooper OFM Cap - 8/9/97

There is a Franciscan theory that all we really need to know is already written into the human heart from the first moment we are born. The Franciscan understanding of wisdom therefore is not so much a matter of putting knowledge into our brain, but about learning all we can about the human heart.

When we are trying discern if a friar who has died is worthy to be held up as a saint, we do not look for an encyclopaedic knowledge, for some one who, "knows it all and nothing else!" to quote Br Genesio Violi, may he rest in peace. We look for heroic virtue – the perfection of charity. There has to have been in their life some form of dying to self – a martyrdom of blood or of the heart.

Learning virtue is learning the way of dying to self. In essence it is the discipline of the heart. Patience, Kindness, Perseverance and Respect for another person are not practiced without some dying to self. The Golden Rule: Do to others what you would like them to do to you, would also seem a good place to start the practice of virtue. Most of us don’t sit down and think about exactly how we want to be treated, so we really do not know how to treat others. We have so much knowledge and yet we know very little about relationships and how to begin them, maintain them and make them grow. As they said in a recent movie "begin with an indoor plant and then get a dog." It’s not such a bad way to start. Perhaps how a postulant treats the dog should be a criterion for assessment at first votation. "Nero – get ready for a lot of attention!"

If I were to think about myself for a bit and what I want, I guess I would like you to acknowledge that I exist. "Good Morning" would be nice. There is at least one extremely valuable friar, who was almost jettisoned from his Novitiate because "Good Morning" from him seemed too much to ask. I guess I would like to know in some small way that I am part of your life. That would be a nice start. I don’t really expect you to remember my birthday, but it is in the Ordo of the Province and I hope that you would say a prayer for me on that day or my feast day. I guess also, I would like to think that you actually know which house of the Order I am living in at the moment. Is that too much to ask? I suppose that the list could include the following, since they are a big part of my life: Are my parents alive? Do I have a sister or a brother who is alive? In which state do they live? You know they say Br Athanase has a brother in Victoria – is that a revelation to you? It shouldn’t be!

Real fraternity has nothing to do with book learning or hearsay – what others say about me. It has to do with meeting me and talking with me. It has to do with who I am and what I am doing. In that sense fraternity has nothing to do with knowing the Franciscan sources or the brilliance of the mystical works of St Bonaventure. It has to do with relationships and to tell you the truth, I think we all have a long way to go in this regard! We profess fraternity, but know nothing of the friendship that gives it quality.

In developing our hearts, I think the Ten Commandments would seem a bit basic, don’t you? After all who is going to kill a brother friar? The most likely perpetrator of such a crime would be a Provincial. As to the fourth Commandment most friars have a special devotion to their parents and even the parents of other friars. In fact some friar’s parents are a lot more gracious than their sons. Thou shalt not covert thy neighbour’s goods would seem to be a bit of a problem when it comes to getting your cord back from the washing. One sometimes feels like invoking the Seventh Commandment, when even a habit disappears! Socks don’t count – I mention them in case you have a problem with socks. Always buy them six at a time and the same colour they are the most unfaithful of clothing they never stay married. The Sixth Commandment does not apply to socks as long as they are the same colour.

Jesus reminded everyone that the Old Law found its positive expression in the double commandment: "Love the Lord your God and love your neighbour." It translates into "Contemplation and Fraternity" the essence of Franciscan life and the reason for every true reform of our way of life. Through contemplation we find our relationship with God and in fraternity we prove it by learning to love each other despite our differences. Actually I think the double Commandment is a triple Commandment because it has that "as your self." tacked on the end, but it does not fit with my theory of the essence of Franciscan life, so I casually discarded it hoping you did not notice.

Jesus however went beyond the double/triple commandment with one of his own for his followers: "Love each other as I have loved you!" He made his life and death the way of Christian life and it is for this reason St Francis says, "The rule and life of the friars minor is to observe the holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ…" To live as Christ did we have to know Christ, and to understand the Gospel is to know Christ. Many of the early Franciscan saints, who were illiterate read the Cross and in this they followed St Francis who said "I know Christ crucified!"

The way of love - the Franciscan way, (of course it is not exclusively Franciscan) is not difficult. In fact it should not be too difficult to assist even children to understand the universal values of love. Love is a language that we all speak even if we do not understand another’s verbal language. Yet in our schools we seem dedicated to teaching the three R’s 'riting, reading and 'rithmatic and we can easily overlook the universal code of conduct that respects the feelings of others.

Courtesy – a set of social customs used for relating to others may be an outdated art in today's world, bent out of shape by cynicism and insincerity or familiarity and contempt, but it was all the rage in the time of St Francis. It was the essence of being a Knight – of being noble. It constrained the concept of "Might is right!" to "Might for right!" As Merlin tried to teach young Arthur and St Bernard tried to teach the Kings of Europe by founding the Military Orders. Patience in a military sense is certainly not wimpy. It is defined as "power held in check" and as such is quite a scary virtue. When I think of St Michael the Archangel being patient I do not think of him sitting around in some state of meditation. The only place we have him exercising patience in the Bible is in the Letter of St Jude, which is well worth reading if you are having real trouble with someone bent on being nasty. Being kind to another person, being thoughtful, is something all people need to learn to do. Kindness is an ancient virtue, but it is still very attractive.

It is the role of parents to teach their children the language of the heart, but maybe it is in the school playground, where it so often fails, that this language ought to be taught as well. So the question might be raised about our parish schools actually teaching in a formal way the art of getting along together. A little dose of fraternity might be just the thing. We friars, have much to teach if we can learn it first ourselves.

It certainly becomes a reality in a Postulancy Programme where fellows from all sorts of backgrounds and cultures find themselves thrown together by the Holy Spirit. Usually after three months of a Postulancy (perhaps it is true of Marriage too) tempers begin to fray. The other person’s differences are no longer fascinating, interesting, unusual, but rather they are annoying, irritating and downright rude to the point of "blue murder" what ever that is. The passive-aggressive, and there are many of them around, uses silence as a weapon. The coward uses it too rather than face up to any possibility of a conflict. The rules of dialogue in difficult situations need to be understood. They are not automatic. They need to be discovered and the best way is to search within ourselves for the answers. Winning an argument is not always the best option if you are trying to build a fraternity, nor is pointing out another’s disgusting habits.

TO LOVE WE MUST DIE TO OURSELVES
- THIS THE WAY OF FRATERNITY -

In the life of Saint Père Claude de la Colombiere the Spiritual Director of St Margaret Mary Alacoque we find a fascinating letter to his brother from the first days of his seminary life, which illustrates this dying to self so well:

"Let me tell you about a certain boy named Auguste. Next time you eat soup, Floris, recall Auguste, who enjoys it so. He enjoys the warm steam, the rich liquid, the sipping and the sucking and the smacking. Auguste reaches for another spoonful with a "wack" against his pottery bowl. He chews and smacks his lips over the soup and the croutons. And for him the end of the bowl is a delight for scooping and scraping. Floris, this was a spectacle the first time, amusing the second, an event to dread the fifth time, and since then an unbelievable horror! What does one do? Nothing; at least, nothing that others can see. One sits quietly, eats calmly the soup, which seems about to fly off one’s spoon at these shocking sounds. This daily trial is offered, in all humility, for some great or little cause. Did I hear you say that you plan to come into the Order? Welcome, little brother!… My problem is …to overcome Claude de la Colombiere day by day. I must try to see the soul and mind in my friends, not to see or hear their all too human traits. Please believe me, Floris, this is a daily task worthy of a stronger will than mine!"

It is interesting for us because in her visions St Margaret Mary was told by Jesus in 1674 that he would send her Père Claude la Colombière, "My faithful servant and perfect friend" as her Spiritual Director. He made his final vows in 1675 and was sent immediately afterwards to be her Spiritual Director. It was he who told her to commit all her visions to writing.

But where does that leave us? How far along the road to fraternity have we come? The old Franciscan question reappears - Who is the leper in my life? Who am I having trouble "getting along with?" For us friars as well as for the children in the playground today, problem-solving and stress-management skills are essential to living in the modern multi-cultural world.

One cannot live by faith alone. One cannot medicate life’s problems by alcohol, other drugs, food, shopping or faith. Simply saying "Jesus loves us all!" is not facing up to the challenging reality of building fraternity. We friars must look again at the Gospel and share our insights as we proposed to do at the Chapter of 1996 when we said we would have a Gospel Review before every Local Chapter. If we had done that in each community we might have made greater progress in the way of fraternity. Perhaps another measure of fraternity in this province (other than not patting the dog) is the fact that we seem to have trouble finding time for Local Chapters. To cope; we must learn to communicate; above all, we must learn to communicate our feelings. For me this poem I wrote recently sums it up.

My Friend

I don’t love you much at all
And for that fear to hear the call,
When trumpets sound and death does call.

I would love you, yes I would,
But only for my own dammed good
And for the sake of brotherhood.

I try to love for Love within
bids us be good and not to sin
And cheers us on our race to win.

If I do not love you, everyone
Then doubt my love for God’s own Son,
And pray for me when life is done.

John Cooper OFM Cap - 18th February 2001